I was working on a few chapters for this month's submission to my subscribers when I realized I introduced a plot hole in chapter thirteen:
Merrie gasped for breath and then sent what she knew over to them. She included everything from the infernal spells, their ability to listen to conversations between alpha and master, and also what Borias and Merrie puzzled out about the spells. It took longer, neither were as good at telepathy as Borias or Haviston. Painful seconds later, both of them settled back.
“Fuck,” they said as one.
Alphas and masters are constantly communicating with each other. This means that they would be thinking about it in range of the infernal spiders, which means the devil listening on the other end would be aware of it. They wouldn't have hours to relax and fuck (though it was a lovely scene I thought). Instead, it would be a ceaseless assault with them trapped inside the shield.
(Oh, Merrie?) Dixie's thoughts sharpened as he reached out for her again.
(Yes?) The part of her that could anticipate the orders of her masters grew tight as a dread rose over her.
(Where are those infernal traps that you told us about?)
A red light speared out of the basement windows. It was too bright and sharp to be natural. A wave of heat and the stench of sulfur blasted after it, shattering the glass and scorching the wood. The grass against the house burned away almost immediately.
Merrie gasped sharply, spinning on her knees as she stared at the house with growing fear.
The skittering sounds of a thousand tiny legs filled the air, punctuated by the hissing of more eggs bursting open.
(Fuck,) projected Dixie with surprise and annoyance coloring his thoughts.
She glanced at the shimmering shield surrounding the house. In an instant, it had turned from protection against their opponents to a trap sealing them in with the meticulously planned spells designed to kill each one of them.
(Fuck,) she sent back.
Starting with chapter nineteen, I've started rewriting the fight inside the mill house. However, I consider the four chapters I had to remove as being… “paid for” in that I submitted it, so I'm keeping them around. At the bottom of the Puppy Mill 2 page, you'll see there is a “Removed Snippets” section which contains the four chapters removed (along with what I wrote before I realized my mistake).
Beyond that, I decided to format the memories as blockquotes instead of italics. I originally used italics because GuroChan preferred it that way but I like how quotes are formatted (and it makes more sense to me typographically speaking).