In a room filled with recording technicians and props, Harumi only had eyes for the cameras focused on her. She could barely see them with the halogen lights bearing down on her, but the green-tinted lenses were tiny motes of brightness. She focused on them, giving her best innocent look at them as if she didn't have a care in the world.
They were recording a riff on one of her favorite songs, Mega Juicy Bounce Bounce. A year ago, it was the song that shot her into the public view and into her apparently glamorous lifestyle. The lie, however, continued to hang over her as she remembered that she slept on a tiny bed in a windowless room and that Satomi still hadn't had the furnace fixed. It was a cold night underneath thin blankets.
They were not using the full audio for the recording, only a tape player hissing at the end of the stage. She had to sing the song without accompaniment, but at least she didn't have to sing loudly. The intensity of her voice wasn't as important as the movement of her lips and the shake of her hips. The recording artists would bring in the full song after she went home for the night.
She spun on a white dot painted on the stage and pranced the length of the wooden platform. Her heels tapped loudly on the wood, the rickety stage creaking with every movement.
At the far end, she spun around and gave a little dip. She pressed her finger against her cheek. “Kawii!”
The lights went out.
Harumi froze, the smile locked on her face. The glow of the halogen lights faded slowly, plunging the stage into a terrifying darkness. One camera light remained on for a few seconds, the red LED on top pulsating before it faded into darkness.
She gulped. “Um, excuse me?”
Her heels clacked against the stage as she stepped back. She stopped after only a step, terrified of falling off the stage.
With a whimper, she reached out. “Is anyone there?”
One of the spotlights burst into life and Harumi screamed. She stumbled back before she realized she was already at the end of the stage. In the brief moment where gravity was getting a grip on her, she felt with her foot for anything that would stop her.
And then she fell with a scream. She slammed into the concrete ground, striking her ass, wrists, and feet at the same time. Her arms slipped on the floor and she fell back, slamming her spine along the concrete. The impact drove the air from her lungs before her head smacked against the ground. Stars exploded across her vision.
She tried to inhale, but her lungs refused to move. There was a terrible silence in her body. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak, she couldn't do anything besides gape helplessly on the ground.
Her vision cleared and she focused on the first thing she could see, Satomi standing on the edge of the stage. The older woman had a scowl on her face that deeply etched the furrows of her brow and cheeks. In one hand, she had a folder. The thick paper was wrinkled underneath her fingers and the edges wavered.
Harumi gaped, pawing at the ground. She wondered why Satomi wasn't coming for her or anyone else at that point. Her fingernails scraped against the smooth surface but she couldn't get purchase.
“How could you?” snarled Satomi. She threw the folder at Harumi. Photographs burst out and fluttered around her.
Harumi's eyes focused on the photos as they landed around her. They were all black and white. Most of them were fuzzy and unclear, but there was no mistaking herself sitting on a dumpster talking to the young man. There were tears on her face and they were holding hands.
“You ruined everything because you couldn't keep your damn mouth shut!”
With a rush, Harumi's lungs started working again. She inhaled sharply and a piece of newspaper pressed against her lips. She choked and flailed at it, scraping it from her face to draw in another breath.
Satomi pressed her lips into a thin line. With an angry shake, she turned and stormed away. Her shoes thumped against the stage, fading as she walked away from Harumi as if they hadn't spent the last year together.
Harumi struggled into a sitting position. The newspaper article crinkled in her hand. Panting, she straightened it out and started to read. It was an article that exposed everything about Harumi's life: her real age, the fact she didn't live in the mansion, and even the fact she got excited on stage. There was only one person who knew so many details about her, a complete stranger that she would never meet again.
She sobbed with the feeling of being stripped naked, not only in the stage but across all of Japan. She had been ruined. No, she had ruined herself because she needed someone to talk to. One moment of weakness and then nothing.
Someone turned off the stage lights and she was once again plunged into darkness.