Chapter 57: What She Needs

The first flakes of snow drifted down on the city. They landed on the cobblestones and sparkled in the dying light. The flakes melted instantly but in a few hours they would leave a light dusting over dark brown cobblestones that made up the little road that Merrie claimed as her new home. Fortunately for her, the breeze was only a light tugging against her skin but it brought the inevitable smell of snow and rain to her numb nose.

She sat at the corner of the road, next to a stone bench. She wore her cloak around her body, but kept most of it folded underneath her to give her a small measure of comfort. The hood was hooked over her ears, protecting them from the pedestrian's sight. She quickly found out that no one wanted to see what Bass had done to her. The cloak also shielded her broken ear from the wind and the ache that came with the touch of ice against it.

Merrie held a bowl in her arms, caught between the cloth draped over her wrists. It gave the hint of being crippled without anyone actually seeing her amputated ends. In the bowl, three coins clinked gently as she rocked it back and forth. There was more money in her lap, hidden in the many pockets of the cloak. There was a delicate balance having just enough money to encourage people to drop a few more coins in and giving the impression of wealth.

Even though using telepathy ached, she kept her mind open to the people walking past her. They were heading home after a day of working, their minds already focusing on dinner, family, and the empty hopes for pleasure. Empty lives filled with dull passions and no magic. The world was a dull place, but it fit the mood she wrapped around her along with the trappings of being a beggar.

A woman caught her attention. She was thinking about her daughter struggling with her apprenticeship and trying to weigh the advantages of pulling her back home. Merrie caught a memory of a sound her daughter made, a little whimper, and made it just as the woman passed. The woman stopped with a start and looked around. Slowly, her eyes lowered down to Merrie.

Merrie looked up at her with wide eyes, filled with fear and sorrow.

It was exactly what she needed for the woman to respond. The woman pictured her own daughter in Merrie's place and a decision was made. With tears welling in her eyes, the woman dug into her pocket and dropped a handful of coins into the bowl. Behind her, a man drew his thoughts from the woman's ass and pulled out his wallet. He dropped a few coins and bills into her bowl while giving the woman a smile.

Merrie gave a thankful nod to both of them and discretely tilted the bowl into her lap. It bounced off her naked thigh, along a fold of the cloak, and slipped into a pocket. With the shadow magic in the threads of the fabric, no one would ever see the pocket until she pulled it out.

With her mind, she slipped into the woman's thoughts. Merrie gave her a little push to ease her stress and doubt before pulling back. For the man, she guided him to a woman who would be interested in his desire to fist a tight passage.

As both of them walked away, unaware that their lives had changed, they smiled to themselves. They found a small bit of peace in giving Merrie money, though they would never know it.

Merrie didn't remember the day she started touching minds as she begged, but she remembered the day she started begging. It was a bright and sunny day, but she was starving for food. Her training at the mill didn't leave her with any skills and she couldn't remember life before Bass and the others. It was just an empty void where the first almost three decades of her life started. But, then she remembered the pain of losing her master and the despair came back.

Desperate to avoid the suicidal thoughts and the strange power that came with it, she threw herself into begging. Focusing on the now and not in the past. It was easier when she just struggled from day to day, right on the edge of starvation. As long as she didn't remember, she could just be a dog girl on the street, trying to get a bit of food and affecting lives with a feather-light touch.

Night came quickly with the beginning of winter and soon the street was empty except for the few stragglers. Merrie remained huddled against the bench and tried to encourage a few more coins from the people walking above her.

The wind seeped into her cloak, teasing the tunic she wore underneath. It felt wrong to wear clothes, but after she was first arrested for public indecency, she shrugged into the simple outfit every morning before heading to her begging spot. Fortunately, with the ache of shadows in her bones, the cold was uncomfortable but not painful. She could survive even with bare legs and arms; it also made her look more pitiful and garnered her a few more coins in her bowl.

“Hey, Ears.”

Merrie looked up at Nir, a young girl barely sixteen. She was dressed heavier than Merrie, but clutched herself as she shivered. Her breath was ragged and rasping. Her black hair clung in knots to her back and neck. It was flat with grease, matted, and knotted, but it was the price of their new lives.

Nir had only joined the streets a few months ago when she ran from her home. It didn't take long for the starvation to gnaw away at the pretty girl's body, erasing the signs of a comfortable life. Now, her ribs were sharply defined and the curves of her hips and shoulders had melted on itself and left only gaunt bones.

The teenage girl never volunteered why she ran away from home, but Merrie knew. Nir was raped at home, both by her mother and her father, but she didn't have the protection of the goddess Consent anymore. She didn't feel she had any choice, so she fled. And then she found out the world wasn't roses and milk that she envisioned. But, she didn't want to go back so she remained on the streets.

Merrie felt a kinship with the teenage girl. Nir didn't ask why Merrie was on the street either. Instead, their friendship came in the silence of their past, one forgotten and the other trying to forget, and the mutual comfort they gave of body warmth on the cold nights.

Stirring herself from her thoughts, Merrie smiled at Nir and barked. Her tail thumped underneath the cloak against her rear.

“I haven't gotten anything for an hour. How about you?”

Merrie peered down her bowl as she cast out her senses. The weak magic rippled around as she sought out someone who would give either of them money, but there was none. She shook her head.

“Think we could head back? I'm cold.” (—and hungry.)

Merrie winced at the headache that came when she picked up the girl's thoughts, but she understood the hunger that growled in Nir's gut.

Nir turned away as she coughed violently. She clutched herself as she did, almost doubling over.

Merrie watched her carefully as she slipped the coins into one of her pockets. After months of practice, she was graceful in her movements. Turning to the side, she worked out a walking stick from underneath the bench. Levering it up, she set it against the bench. The stick had four loops of rope along it, spaced evenly. They were so Merrie could pull herself up and lean on the stick.

“Here, let me help,” Nir said as she walked up. She hooked an arm underneath Merrie's and pulled her up.

Merrie groaned softly as she planted one arm on the bench and the other on Nir. Her body trembled as she stood up, balancing on the ends of her severed ankles. Pain coursed up her limbs until she could grasp her walking stick. One arm slid through the familiar rope and she leaned into it.

Nir's hands hovered over her for a moment. “You got it?”

Merrie barked softly, blushing at the inhuman sound. She was careful not to bark when there could be someone listening. She found that it bothered people more than anything but her amputations. She adjusted her weight until she was resting on her ankles. It hurt, it always hurt, but she couldn't crawl down the street. Not in public, not without a shade to shield her.

She felt barely alive inside. She could use some spells, but the hunger made it hard to concentrate on the more complicated spells like repulsion and domination. The only energy she had was despair, but she didn't dare tap into that limitless power from the darkness of her soul.

The lost district still haunted her. People knew it was missing, but no one could find it. Rumors called it the Shadowed District and it choked her up every time she heard it.

Together, she and Nir walked down the street. They had to move slowly as Merrie limped along, but Nir held her for warmth and comfort. Their home was in the alley along with six other beggars. There was a baker and a cheese maker at one end of the alley and a tailor at the other end. The fourth store sold books, but Merrie was the only one who could read among the beggars.

When she first arrived, storekeepers were doing everything they could to get rid of the beggars. But, one night, Merrie felt thieves breaking into the store and had Nir grab the guards. A few weeks later, someone tried to do the same for the tailor. Now, the storekeepers begrudgingly left them alone in exchanges for an uneasy truce to watch the buildings.

The alley was nearly silent as Merrie limped inside. The others were sitting in the middle, surrounding a heating stone. The waves of heat rippled off the rock, but it only reached a meter at most. During the nights, they would all be huddled around it and wrapped in ragged blankets and remnants of fabric.

Nir called out to them as they came into the alley. Merrie did the same with little barks and woofs. The beggars responded in kind, with exhausted murmurs and yawns. One waved but then thrust his hand back underneath his shirt to regain the lost warmth.

They called Merrie “Ears” because there was no other name Merrie could give them. They all knew about her amputation, her ears, and her tails. Unlike the people on the streets, who only wanted the hint of poverty, these were the people who had no more secrets left to hide.

Nir sat down next to the heating stone, almost in the lap of an old man named Copper. “Think we have enough to get some warm food?”

“We were just hoping the same. Ratty told Threads,” Copper pointed to an older woman with shaking hands, “if we can come up with forty marks, she give us a pot of stew for all of us. We got twenty-one marks six, how about you?”

Merrie's stomach rumbled with hunger.

Nir dug into her pocket and pulled out the change she got. Spilling it out on the ground, she counted it carefully.

The others leaned in as they held their breath, watching each coin that she picked up.

“Seven one, seven two. Damn it. I only have seven marks four. That makes….”

Copper answered first. “Twenty-nine marks even.”

As one, the beggars looked at Merrie.

“Any chance you got eleven marks, Ears?” Nir said as her stomach rumbled.

Merrie sank down to the ground, ignoring the cold. She dug into her pockets. The hidden folds spilled out marks into her lap, the clinking bringing little gasps of hope to the gathered beggars. She kept the three coins for her bowl, she needed those, but let the rest of it pile up between her legs.

“H-How much?” begged Nir as she knelt down in front of Merrie. Her hands trembled as she plucked the coins from Merrie's thighs. One coin had rolled near Merrie's sex and Nir's fingers brushed against the curls of the bitch's pubic hair as she plucked it free.

Merrie didn't even respond to the touch. The short tunic covered her sex, but she couldn't suffer to have anything underneath. But, she felt dead inside and the pleasure had turned to ash between her legs.

Everyone held their breath as Nir dropped each coin into the pile. “Thirty-six four. Thirty-seven four. Thirty-nine! Forty! Forty-one marks one… three… six. Forty-two marks six!”

All of them cheered.

Nir panted softly as she fingered the money, running the pitiful amount of change along her palm.

Copper stood up. “Come on, Nir, let's run over to Ratty before she closes.”

Nir glanced down the coins. “D-Do you think we might get something sweet?” She looked up at Merrie. “It's been two weeks.”

Merrie looked at the girl begging and nodded.

Nir swept her into a hug. “Thank you!”

Moments later, Copper and Nir were rushing down the street with Copper clinging to the money in a small bag.

“You know,” said Threads in her broken voice, “you should have saved that money for tomorrow. Never know when we'll get enough. Some of us,” she glared at Merrie, “don't eat garbage like fucking dogs.”

Merrie ducked her head, her one good ear pressing against her head. She knew what Threads wanted, but seeing the accusing and jealous look in Thread's eyes broke her heart.

One of the other beggars said, “Give Ears a break, Threads. Nothing wrong with having a little sweet now and then.”

“I'm not going to starve because of her.”

“Ears brought in more money than anyone else. It is her choice if she wants to give it away.”

There was more unsaid and Merrie could feel it. She felt dread rising in her stomach. She got on her wrists and knees and crawled over to her box. It was colder away from the heating stone, but at least the old woman wasn't looking at her accusingly.

In her box, she wrapped the cloak around her and curled up. Closing her eyes, she waited for Copper and Nir to return with dinner. She let her mind drift off in dark dreams of shadows and hunger. Her arm slipped between her legs and she passed the time by slowly stroking herself; it would be hours before she could cum, but she needed even the tiny amount of pleasure she could give herself. No matter how much she turned her back on sex and magic, she craved it constantly. Her dreams were haunted by images of submission but they grew more frantic and violent if she didn't masturbate.

“Ears, we got food.” It was Nir, but there was a strange tone in her vice.

Merrie woke up and looked up to see the teenage girl crouching at the entrance of Merrie's box. There was a nervous look in Nir's blue eyes that caught her attention. Whimpering, Merrie sat up.

“Um,” Nir whispered, “there is a problem. She didn't have a lot of food to give us…” she glanced to the side, “again. Even with the extra money.”

Merrie looked over Nir's shoulder. They had brought a pot of stew from Ratty, but no one was eating it. Instead, they were staring into the pot with bowls in their hand.

Threads scowled as she clutched her own bowl, glaring at it and whispering obscenities under her breath. She glanced up and caught Merrie's eyes. Guiltily, she looked away.

The alley was filled with hunger and regret. All of them knew there wasn't enough food to stave off the rumbling in their guts.

Merrie sighed. She pulled the cloak out from underneath her and crawled back on her knees. Reaching up, she kissed Nir and crawled away from the heating stone and the food. Unlike the others, she could find dinner elsewhere.

“Ears,” whimpered Nir softly.

Merrie didn't look back. She could hear the others watching her as she crawled down the alley. When she reached the end, the clink of bowls and stew told her that they were digging into the food. It was probably the only warm meal they would get that night.

It hurt Merrie that they were dependent on her, but she couldn't let them starve, not when she could help. She slowed down at the entrance and looked at the crates of rotted food that stood in the entrance of the alley. The collectors would come the next day, to pick up the garbage that had been gathering for a week. It stank and her stomach turned, but Merrie knew she could eat it.

Just like a dog.

Pulling a face, she headed for the bread maker's first. Using her mouth and her arm, she levered one of the crates and looked inside. The bread was moldy and crusty, except where rain had soaked into it. She grabbed it with her mouth and pulled it free, dragging it to the center of the alley. On the other side, she found some hard rinds of cheese. There was enough for food, but it was crawling with maggots.

Sitting down on the alley, she used her arm to crush the crawling larval before digging in. With every foul bite, she was thankful that Borias had taught her how to eat far worse things, and that his magic kept her healthy despite the garbage she had been eating for weeks. She couldn't tell the others, but she was safer eating rotted food and maggots than they were with the stew made by Ratty—the woman earned her nickname for a reason.

“Ears?” whispered Nir. The girl brought her bowl of stew with her. Breathing softly, she sat down next to her. “You shouldn't be eating that. Please, just have some of this.” She held out the bowl.

Merrie swallowed and shook her head. She gave out a sharp bark and dug back into her dinner.

“You're going to get sick if you eat that. It's moldy and gross.”

Merrie closed her eyes and shook her head.

Nir set down the bowl next to her. But even as she did, her stomach grumbled with hunger.

Glancing up at her, Merrie reached out with her mind. With a little push, she forced the girl to pick up the food and start eating. As soon as Nir obeyed, Merrie returned to her own meal and ignored the headache that throbbed in her head.

Together, they ate in silence, a girl and a bitch.

Merrie was just finishing choking down her meal when one of the other beggars came scurrying up. “Ears, Nir, Copper says to come to Fifth and Fidol and hurry up. A mark is coming.”

Nir gasped and stood up, her empty bowl rattling on the ground. “This late? Who?”

“No clue, but they look rich. Come on, make yourself pretty and pathetic. Maybe we can earn breakfast.”

Merrie felt a prickle of excitement. She wiped her face clean and crawled after Nir and the others rushing down the alley. The cloak fluttered behind her as she used a bit of water to wipe her arms. At the other end, the others were already down the street.

For a brief moment, she considered stepping across to the Shadows to catch up, but even the idea sickened her more than eating maggot-filled cheese. She bore down and just suffered with crawling slowly after them.

By the time she reached the corner, everyone was set up and waiting. Nir sat on the edge of a stone bench, holding out a wooden bowl in her hands. She had her hair pulled back to show off her bright eyes. Copper was a few meters down, settling into place so it looked like he didn't have any legs. Threads was perched on the curb with her knitted bag. She was practicing her pathetic, broken grandmother look.

Merrie crawled up to Nir and hauled herself on the bench. Nir helped her and they got her situated, cloak underneath her.

“Your ears are showing,” whispered Nir as she tugged the cloak over Merrie's broken ear. Merrie winced at the pain but settled down.

Digging into her pocket, Merrie pulled out her bowl and waited.

Along the street, other beggars and prostitutes were already in place. It was a veritable parade of desperation. The only difference is that the prostitutes had an emblem of the Whore's Guild on their shoulders and the beggars had no guild. Not all of the whores were dressed better than the beggars, though.

Merrie sighed softly. She toyed with the bowl as she struggled with her own thoughts. Begging was the only thing she could do now. She had no home, only a grave for her master. Everything had changed with that one night and she could never go back. She felt like she had been broken and there was nothing to heal the ache in her heart.

A tear ran down her cheek as she remembered her master. She missed his presence, the playful thoughts and shifting mind. He would be doing jobs right now, sneaking in the shadows while sending dirty thoughts to her.

But, he was gone and he would never be back. Resigned to her new life, she hefted her bowl.

“I hope he's rich,” whispered Nir.

“Quiet,” snapped Copper.

From down the street, the clop of horse shoes rang out along the cobblestones. They were pulling a wagon of some sort and the clatter echoed along the store fronts and brought a hush to the street.

At the end of the street, noise rose up like a wave. The light from the wagon was bright and blinding. It shone along the store fronts. As the gathered beggars and prostitutes were brought into the light of the wagon, they started their cries and begging.

“Oh,” squirmed Nir as she whispered to herself, “please give me money. Please, please?”

Merrie reached out with her mind, past the pain, and calmed the girl down.

Nir took a long, deep breath and sighed. “I hate this part.”

“Quiet,” snapped Copper as the pool of light swallowed him up.

Merrie shielded her face with her cloak. She felt exposed and vulnerable as the wagon's brightness shone on her. The heavy wagon rolled closer to them, the horses neighing as they stately moved down the empty street.

“Blessed are the gods,” groaned Nir, “it's a thriban… in a suit. I didn't even know they made suits for anything that large.”

Merrie jerked her head to the front of the wagon as Eolis' gaze met with hers. The world paused in one painful moment. Her heart pounded with agony as the gaze slid past her without pausing.

Eolis jerked and snapped his head back to stare at her. His mouth open, exposing low fangs. “Merrie?”

Even though he spoke quietly, it shot across the street like an explosion.

Blind panic slammed into Merrie. He was coming to take her back to the mill. She didn't know where the idea came from, but it overrode any coherent thought. She scrambled back from the wagon. Losing her balance, she fell off the bench and hit the walk with a thud. Her tail kinked under her weight and she let out a yelp.

Nir spun around. “Ears!”

Eolis' voice rose above the crowd. “Merrie!”

Merrie scrambled to her knees. Whimpering, she looked around and then crawled away as fast as she could. Her cloak fluttered behind her as she tried to find some way of escaping.

There was a thump and then Eolis yelling. “Out of the way!” His voice rumbled across the street as the beggars grew silent. “Shield the wagon!” he called behind him.

Merrie glanced over her shoulder to see the thriban forcing his way past the beggars. One of beggars, an older man, tried to delve his hand into Eolis' pocket as the thriban pass.

Eolis reached back without looking, grabbed the man's wrist, and jerked. The sound of snapping bone shot through the crowds in a ripple of fear.

The thief screamed out in agony and fell back.

The thriban shoved people out of the way as he burst through the gathered beggars and prostitutes.

Seeing no one between her and Eolis, the panic flowed through Merrie's veins. She let out a scream and crawled away. The fear swallowed her thoughts and she bolted into the nearest alley, racing down as fast as she could on knees and wrists.

Eolis skidded to a halt. “Merrie!”

His voice still echoed down the alley as he charged. His shoes clapped loudly on the cobblestones. With every passing heartbeat, the sounds grew louder and she grew more frantic.

She could feel him reaching out for her and she couldn't run away fast enough. Fear pounded in her veins and she felt the despair rising up, bubbling like oil inside her body. She clung to it and pulled even as she was trying to find some spell to escape.

The spell that drew across her mind was none that she had ever seen before. It didn't come from her master's mind, the core of darkness inside her, or even the lessons from her grandfather. It felt like a spell, but it wasn't. It was incomplete but somehow she knew it was everything she needed.

Desperate, she drove power through it. It shone blackly and the world slowed down. Her heart pounded in her chest as she scrambled down the cobblestones. She felt her body burning with ice that burst from her bones. It tore at her, ripping at her senses and blinding her with agony, but she had experience far worse pain and bore through it.

Frantic moments later, the pain receded and she was running. Her feet dug into the cobblestones and she found purchase. Her claws scraped along the hard surface, skittering along the smooth tops and catching on the cracks between the bricks. She surged forward, running on paws she didn't remember having. Her breath came in rapid pants, tearing through her, but she felt more solid and real than she had in a long time.

Her skin crawled with power and she saw a flash of dark fur fluttering on the edges of her vision. She felt strange, sick, and excited at the same time, but Eolis was still chasing her. Concentrating on remembering how to move, she launched herself down the alley with the wind tugging on the hairs. Her tongue felt too large for her mouth and she parted powerful jaws to let it slip out; the air was rich with scents and she wanted to stop just to taste them.

A dark pleasure filled her. It was a rush of adrenaline and the thrill of an orgasm, despite being fueled by her fear and terror. As she ran, the darkness peeled back and the alley grew as bright as day. The wisps of shadows were the only indication that it was still night.

Fueled by fear, she charged out of the alley and crossed the street. Her body as nimble and powerful. She dove underneath one man's legs and past a couple before diving into the opposing alley. Before she knew it, she had sprinted the entire length of the alley in a few second and was out the far end.

Power coursed through her veins, hot and fluid. It shifted darkly in her gut and she felt it fluttering through her heart. She never wanted to stop moving, not until she could outrun the pain and fear.

She sprinted into the next alley, but it took her a moment to realize the third one was a dead end. With a yelp, she tried to stop, but her four feet tangled themselves and she flipped over. The world exploded into stars as she slammed into the ground and skidded toward the wall that blocked the end of the alley. Cringing, she tensed for the inevitable impact.

There was a ripping sensation in her soul as she slid through the threshold between the worlds and came out in the Shadows. With the painfully familiar taste in the back of her throat came agony. It burned along her skin and throbbed in her muscles. Every pleasure she got from stepping across had been destroyed by her master's death. It burned inside her. She tried to claw at it, but it was buried in her soul and no physical touch could reach it.

Screaming out, her pain rippled through the Shadows. She stumbled over the runes to bring her across. With a blessed relief, she felt the barrier between the worlds thin. As she crossed back into reality, her transformation burned away in black mist.

She hit the ground with her naked body, the shadow cloak fluttering behind her. The impact with the icy ground tore into her skin as she flipped over twice before coming to a smoking halt in the middle of a small park. Hoarfrost dappled the grass around her, but she couldn't move as she sobbed. She never wanted to go back to the Shadows, not after her master. The ache of even a millisecond in the darkness had ripped out the wound in her soul.

Merrie craved her master too much. She wailed out as she curled into a ball, sobbing violently as the despair rose up. With the dark came the suicidal thoughts, the desire to end everything in flame and darkness. She clutched herself tighter and wished for the dead feeling she had as a beggar. She could pretend to be nothing but a helpless, cropped human on the streets. She didn't want the pain that gnawed at her gut, whispering for her to end the world in a single spell of destruction.

“I see you bonded,” said Eolis as he stepped out from between two trees. His voice was a low growl, interrupted by the deep breaths of a man who chased her for a number of blocks.

Merrie let out a shriek. She knew he was going to take her back to the mill. She didn't know how or why, but she could never go back. She shuddered and crawled away, shaking her head.

Around her, her cloak fluttered and spread out. It moved as if it was alive but it only clung to the trees and plunged her into shadows. She could feel the barrier of the worlds growing thin, but she didn't dare cross over.

Eolis stopped, a look of confusion on his face. His dark gray skin looked like stone in the unlit park. His suit was torn and muscles were visible underneath the rents in the expensive black fabric. “What happened to you?” he asked in a low voice.

Merrie shook her head and continued to back up.

“Where is your master?”

At the memories welling up, Merrie let out a sob and crawled further away. Tears ran down her cheeks as she whined loudly. Her body shook from exertion and she slipped twice as she tried to crawl back. The wind whipped at her naked skin, seeping through the thin barrier of the shadow cloak and her torn shift.

“Did he abandon you?”

She sobbed and shook her head.

“Where is he…” realization dawn on Eolis' face. His shoulders slumped as he groaned. “He died, didn't he?”

Merrie gave a nod, trying to breath through the sobs that wracked her body.

Eolis stared at her in shock. “How are you alive? Alphas can't live beyond their master.”

She sobbed and shook her head. The tears splashed down on the ground, steaming at the icy ground beneath her. She managed to crawl into the tree line, but Eolis followed her.

Merrie tried to find the energy for a repulsion, but the brief passage through the shadows left her raw and in agony. She slumped as a wave of dizziness crashed into her. When she looked up, he was only a meter away.

“Come on, I won't hurt you. Let me take you home, to the mill.”

Irrational fear rose up inside her. It overwhelmed her weakened willpower. She cried out and lashed out with power from her despair. Tendrils burst out of the shadows of the trees and launched themselves at Eolis.

He looked around, grunted, then jumped back just as the tendrils slammed into the ground where he was standing. His body blurred as he landed on the ground. He dragged one foot back in a fighting position. She saw something more than a thriban in a suit, she saw a fighter wearing the disguise of civilization.

Incoherent with fear, Merrie sent the tendrils speeding toward him even as more burst out from behind him. The tentacles wrapped around his arms and legs. More tentacle looped around his neck and bore down, digging into his flesh. Dozens more burst out of the shadows, the sharp points heading straight for his heart.

Eolis tore his arms free of the tentacles. He spun around with one fist swinging out.

Merrie launched the tendrils to catch him.

To her surprise, he rolled back away from the tendrils and charged after her.

She sent the tendrils after him, desperate to stop him before he got to her. She couldn't go back, she could never return to the mill. Her scream echoed against the trees as she threw up a protective spell.

Eolis shielded his face as he jumped through the wall of mist, shattering the spell. The shards tore at his face and body, stripping cloth from his gray skin and leaving a cloud of blood behind.

And then he was on her. Powerful hands grabbed her throat and he slammed her into a tree. A branch jammed into her back; it tore her shift and broke her skin with a prick of pain.

Her cloak wrapped around his arms, moving like a snake. It continued to work its way up, turning his gray hands into darkness as it fluttered against her skin. She could feel the power in the fabric, a sense that it was like her own limb, able to move at her command. She focused on his throat and the edge of the cloak snapped out to wrap around his neck.

He leaned into her until their lips were centimeters apart, then roared at the top of his lungs.

“Stop!”

The command slammed into her mind and body. It was absolute and powerful, dominating in a way that she hadn't felt in years. A dark orgasm burst inside her, searing through her senses as it burned away the despair that fueled her magic.

Behind him, the tentacles exploded into mist and faded away. Her cloak lost its mobility and sank down, fluttering like thin fabric.

Panting, Eolis relaxed his grip around her throat. She could feel the bruises already forming. “That's a command, bitch.” His eyes were shadowed by his frown and his body trembled as blood dripped down his arms and chest.

Merrie whimpered, ashamed at her juices dribbling down her inner thighs. She didn't want to obey, but she couldn't resist. She sobbed and slumped against him.

Eolis released his fingers and she slipped down the tree. The bark tore at her back as she collapsed at the ground at his feet.

“Beg!” His voice boomed around her and her pussy spasmed at the command.

Sobbing, she forced herself into position. Her wrists stopped at an imaginary collar, one that she hadn't worn for years. She clenched her leg muscles tightly as she stared up at him, terrified and hungry for the next command.

Eolis staggered back, then groaned. He rested a hand on his arm, but when he pulled it back, fresh blood dripped from his palm. “Fuck, you're powerful. Thankfully, you still submit, or I'd be fighting for my life.”

Merrie opened her mouth to bark, but stopped at his glare.

“Silence,” came the command. She sobbed as she closed her mouth. It felt good to be ordered, like a drug that she forget she was addicted to.

He thumped his head against the tree. Closing his eyes, he panted for a moment. “How long ago?”

Merrie jerked at the question.

“Answer in barks. Months?”

She barked as fresh tears came out.

“Years?”

She shook her head, her body trembling. The cloak fluttered around her as a breeze tickled her naked skin.

“Damn.” He groaned and pressed his hand against his chest. “Why did you attack? Because of me?”

She shook her head.

His eyes widened. “Because of the mill?”

Fear bubbled up and she inhaled as the dark energy rose up inside her. The shadows answered and boiled with the gathering power.

Eolis looked around with widening eyes. He turned on her and bellowed out a command, “Down!” His voice rang off the trees.

Merrie hit the ground, plastering herself against the icy ground. The grass scraped against her breasts and she was ashamed to find them hard and aching.

“You don't want to go back, do you?”

She shook her head, afraid to look up. She felt a heat burning in her pussy, the submission to his words making it hard to concentrate on anything but the growing pleasure.

“Haviston said the compulsions would wear off in a few weeks. It's been almost three years. No way it could have lasted that long.” He muttered for moment. “Now, what was the trigger… oh, beg.”

Merrie pulled herself back into a begging position. Her breasts heaved against the cloak as she stared at the thriban commanding her. She wanted him, ached to feel him closer, but there was a terrible pain in her heart and she never wanted to feel that touch again.

“Merrie, respond as you see fit.” He cleared his throat. “Golden snake eats no silver wood.”

She didn't remember dropping to the ground or rolling over. But the next moment, Merrie was staring up at Eolis as spasms ran through her back.

He groaned and stepped back. “Sit.”

She obeyed with a flush.

“Damn that man. That compulsion is still in place.” He groaned and then sighed. “Don't worry, Merrie, I'm not going to take you back to the mill. You'll never go back, okay?”

As quickly as the irrational fear rose inside her, Merrie relaxed. She panted for breath. Every muscle in her back let go and she dropped her head to the ground. She tried to pull herself up, but her shaking body refused to move. Merrie tried again and managed to roll over on her stomach. Bracing herself on the cold earth, she pushed herself up.

Eolis rested a hand on her back. “No, stay down.” He knelt on the ground in front of her. “On your stomach.”

She held herself still, her body burning with agony and pleasure. It mixed together and she was confused. She wasn't sure if she should be peeing or cumming.

“I can't imagine how much pain you're in.”

Merrie stared at the ground, a tremor coursing through her body. The pressure on her back increased and she let him push her to the ground. Her pussy clamped down with excitement and her tail rocked back and forth even as she remembered the agony of losing her master.

“Where you there? When he died?”

Merrie nodded, scraping her face along the ground as she moved. Fresh tears soaked the ground. She tried to push up as the despair rose inside her, but he shoved her down into the ground and the darkness crumbled.

“You are such a good girl for surviving it.” His words were a stark contrast to his actions, but she found it hard to resist the pressure on her back. It sent little thrills of pleasure coursing through her spine, reminding her of her helplessness.

She tried to lift herself again, just so he would shove her back down. When he did, the feeling of her breasts being crushed to the hard ground sent a burst of ecstasy through her body. She ground her legs together as a tiny orgasm thrummed along her sex.

“You don't have… someone dominating you now, do you?”

Merrie sobbed into the ground. She opened her mouth to taste the grass and dirt as the choking sorrow crashing into her. She wanted to crawl deeper into the ground and hide.

“Anyone fucking you?”

She shook her head. She dragged her limbs along the ground, trying to find purchase but he made her helpless by one single, large hand pinning her back to the ground. She could feel the strength in his grip, the way he leaned into her. He could stop her from moving and that sent lust burning through her. She hated it, she didn't deserve it. She didn't want to feel pleasure, though it was a drug. She craved it, hungered for it, but she hated it.

His hand pushed her down harder, grinding her into the ground. The weight of his body on hers brought up a shameful flash of lust and she let out a soft, sobbing whine.

He reached over and stroked her hair with his other hand. "I can't leave you like this. You should be dead, but… I can't leave you like this. You are thin and starving. You smell like you need a bath.

Merrie's good ear pressed against her head as he spoke in a low growl.

“You should be starving for orgasms, you are an alpha after all. But, there is no way you could have fought that way if you weren't getting it from somewhere.”

She thought about the despair bubbling inside her, the pain at losing her master. The darkness still clung to her thoughts, darkening them. Pinned to the ground, the energy from lust and the sapping strength of despair warred inside her.

He said nothing for a moment. She didn't dare look up at him.

“You're suicidal, aren't you?”

Merrie inhaled sharply. Her entire tensed as the world spun around her. She wasn't expecting him to ask that.

“Angry at the world? Want to lash out?”

Tears burning in her eyes, she nodded.

“Fuck, I was hoping you wouldn't say yes.” His thick fingers dug into her back for a moment. “I'm sorry, girl. I'm not a mage, but I've heard of familiars that went insane after they lost their masters. A lot of people thought they were possessed by something evil—”

Merrie whimpered and closed her eyes tightly. She thought of the Lord of Shadows and wondered if somehow he had taken over her.

“—but I remember reading that it wasn't anything other than their own power. That darkness you attacked me with is your power turning on itself. You gain your energy by submission and, well, orgasms.”

His voice was a low grumble and she could feel it vibrating through her back. It sent little thrills through her body and she shifted just to enjoy him driving her hard against the ground.

“But since you bonded, that energy has to go somewhere.” Eolis groaned. “Damn, I wish I understood magic better. I guess that power has to go somewhere. When I get anxious, I have to work out to get it out of my system. Bass uses his combat spells and Tabitha hunts things down. We all have to use our power or it rots inside us. For you, you need to submit and fuck.”

She shivered at the low voice. She thought about how she kept back the despair, by giving her the smallest amount of pleasure to stave off the darkness. Then, she remembered how she made an entire district disappear. If that was her own power, how powerful was she?

He breathed slowly but he said nothing.

Merrie squirmed but Eolis pinned her back down with his hand.

“First things first. You need to come.”

She squirmed, trying to pull away. A whine rose in her throat as she shook her head.

“I don't care, Merrie. You are an alpha and that means you need to come.”

Her arms dug into the ground as she shook violently. A cry rose from her throat and she shook her head. Fresh tears ran down her cheeks. She didn't want pleasure. She wanted to just live in the now, a nothing life that she couldn't end.

“I'm not going to take no for an answer.”

She cried out, squirming under his touch. When he pushed her down, she ground her face into the grass and breathed in the scent. It felt good to be pinned, it pushed the despair and sorrow away. Her body was slick with excitement and she could feel it dripping off her pussy lips.

Eolis lifted his hand from her, the warmth of his palm leaving an imprint for a moment before the cold erased it. “I don't even like women, so this is going to be difficult enough to get hard. But, you need this and I owe it to the Mill.”

She didn't move. His words were confusing but she could feel something rising in the air. It was an anticipation, a thrill, a fear. She looked up as Eolis stood up. When he began to unbuckle his pants, the breath caught in her throat.

“I'm going to fuck you, Merrie.”

She shook her head, mouthing the word “no.”

He shook his head as he spread open the fabric to reveal black silk boxers. “There is nothing you can do about it. As soon as I strip down, I'm going to grab you and slam you into that tree,” he gestured to a thick, rough tree with his chin. “And then I'm going to ram my cock into your ass until you scream. I'm going to see if I can shove it hard enough that you feel it in your throat.”

Liquid heat filled her, an inferno igniting into a hot flare of lust. She wanted to run and crawl away just to make him chase her. She could think of a thousand ways to fight back, to prolong it, but there was something in the way the thriban spoke that told her it was inevitable. There was no escape from his quiet, measured words.

Her lips parted as she watched him.

He peeled down his expensive suit pants and underwear. As he stepped out of them, she saw his thick cock. It was long but relatively narrow for a thriban, about the girth of her wrist. It hung limply from his body, obscuring the sight of two large shaved balls the size of a grapefruit. His legs were powerful and muscular, scarred with cut marks and callouses. Eolis' right knee was darker than the rest of his body, as if it was from a different leg. He worked the buttons of his jacket. Shrugging it off, he carefully folded it and set it down on the ground.

She couldn't bear the idea of coming, not without her master, but she couldn't escape. The transformation spell welled up in her mind, but the anticipation was ruining the darkness she needed to fuel it. She needed to be punished, to be dominated, and there was a man about to do that.

Before she could sort out her own internal battle, Eolis was naked. A broad-shouldered thriban standing over her, ready to fuck her. He was nearly hairless around his cock, but the rest of him was covered in a thick mat of black and gray. His hands were large as he closed them, one finger at a time.

She trembled with anticipation, remembering how the fingers felt around her neck. It terrified her, but also brought a hungry pleasure.

He reached down for her. She cringed but couldn't dodge as he grabbed her by her hair. Wrapping it over around in his palm, he hauled her up.

Merrie almost came at the little prick of pain. Her arms flailed in the air. She knew where he was going to shove her, but the ferocity that he threw her into the tree surprised her. She landed face-first into the trunk, the impact crushing her breasts and sending a shock of pain coursing through her senses.

She stared to fall back and her shift caught on a short branch, tearing open from her weight. But, before she could land on the ground, he slammed her against the tree again, this time pinning her with his large body. The sharp edges of the bark mixing in with the cold was a painful contrast to the hot body he pressed against her back.

“You,” he growled in her ear, “were a bad girl.”

Merrie cried out, losing herself in the pleasure and pain. She tried to find purchase on the tree with her legs, but it just scraped down. She pushed back just as the half hard cock pressed against her ass.

She froze, her body trembling, as she felt the thick head work around her tail. It was a large, rounded head. Unlike Bass, it wasn't dripping with excitement. The friction of him aiming his cock for her asshole brought tremors of anticipation for the pain coursing through her veins, it sang to her and she sobbed with the need and fear.

Eolis lodged his head against her hole and shoved. Her asshole resisted the intrusion, the friction building up, but he just rocked back and shoved it back in. His breath was hot against her broken ear as he ground into her, forcing his cock against the opening.

Pressure built into a crescendo of pain and pleasure. She fought with every muscle, but hungered for the moment he would tear into her. Her body grew hot as the energy bubbled inside her, burning away the despair.

Merrie clutched at the tree, dragging her arms along the sharp edges. She was pinned to the trunk, crushed by Eolis' weight as he continued to force his cock against her tiny hole.

With a shudder, he ripped into her. It was only an inch, but the agony was an intense brand against her nerves. She cried out and tried to escape, but there was none. Her body shuddered with pain even as she tried to push back.

Eolis grunted as he forced more of himself into her ass, stretching it open. The cock head swelled as he worked his way deeper, a small measure of precum the only lubrication.

The thriban was larger than her master had ever been, thicker than even Tamin. It was painful and pleasurable, the agony of being torn open sent fluttering across her body.

Eolis relented and eased out.

Merrie whimpered for it.

He shoved it back into her, forcing it deeper. Her sphincter fought the intrusion but his strength stretched it wide. It kept a tight grip on his cock as the head burrowed deeper. Merrie didn't know if she could take any more when suddenly the cock slipped inside and her anal ring clamped down over his glans, trapping them inside.

With another grunt, he began to fuck her. It quickly grew slicker with precum and, Merrie guessed blood, but the strokes were overwhelming her thoughts. She pawed at the tree, crying out as he drove centimeter after centimeter into her ass. He was tearing her open and she could only beg for more like a common animal.

Lost in a world of pleasure and pain, Merrie was surprised when she felt his balls forcing her legs apart. The burning length of his cock was inside her, tearing her open from the inside but filling her with the silken hardness of a cock. She opened her eyes and stared at the shadowed tree above her. It felt right to be impaled by a cock.

Eolis shoved her face back into the tree and began to pound into her, taking quarter-meter thrusts into her ass. Wet slurping filled the air as he plunged deep into her, stretching out her asshole, before pulling almost completely out. His hips slammed into her ass, crushing her tail between their bodies, before levering out.

She was helpless to his assault, her body pinned between man and tree. She whined and cried out, begging for more as he slammed her body repeatedly against the harsh, unforgiving trunk. Every thrust came a burst of pain and she came from the intensity. Her body was thrumming and burning. She was alive.

He kept pounding her, driving deep. It kept going on, thrust after thrust. He was relentless as he drove her into the tree, bruising her body with every stroke. When he started to slow, he took longer strokes that completely filled and left her. He yanked his cock out and slammed it back in, loosening the ring until he could bury every millimeter of his thick cock into her ass.

She didn't know how long he fucked her, but he didn't come. He pulled out and stepped away from her. No longer being held up, Merrie tumbled back with a shriek. Her shift ripped from her body, leaving her naked to the cold air. She hit the ground and sprawled out, her body trembling from the orgasms that burned across her senses. She kept coming, staring up at the dripping cock that had dominated her.

But he hadn't come.

Merrie whimpered as her body settled down. She felt an order come and was already rolling into a begging position.

“Beg.”

She opened her mouth and stared up into his eyes.

Eolis looked away but shoved his length toward her mouth. It was stained with blood and the haze of her juices.

Merrie took it in and swallowed the length. The coppery taste was nothing compared to what she had been eating. She took as much as she could and bobbed up on it. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself further down.

With the intimate touch and the burn of telepathy, she could feel Eolis holding back. He didn't want her. He didn't find her attractive either, but he was doing what needed to be done. He needed to make her submit.

She smiled around his cock. Easing her thoughts through her pain and his shields, she found what he wanted. With a little twist, she projected the idea of a young man on his knees in front of him.

Eolis' cock grew hard almost instantly. He inhaled and gripped her head.

(Fuck me, sir,) she projected in the voice of the young man who traveled with Eolis, Zeob.

The fingers tightened and Eolis began to drive into her. His cock battered the back of her throat, choking her.

She needed more. (Harder! Please, hurt me!)

Eolis groaned and grabbed her hair with both hands. He slammed into her face, tearing his cock into her throat. She felt it ripping her inside, but with the pain came pleasure and she came.

She begged with her mind, driving Eolis to fuck her face until precum soaked her face and she could feel his cock plunging deep into her throat. It hurt, but it was also ecstasy, an agonizing drug of submission. She couldn't cry out, she couldn't whimper. The only thing she could do was be a hole for him to mindlessly fuck.

He pounded her hard, almost breaking her nose. His cock swelled in her throat and he rammed it home. The burn of asphyxiation burned her lungs as he let out a guttural groan and pumped hot cum into her belly.

It was the first hot meal she had in months and Merrie swooned.

Panting, Eolis held it there for a long count before pulling out. He was still spurting and it coated the back of her throat with musky, thick cum. He stopped with his head in her mouth, letting the last few jets pool on her tongue before pulling out.

Stumbling back, he stared at her. “Damn, that's a first.”

Merrie gulped at the cum, shivering with pleasure as it rolled down her throat. She had cum so many times, she couldn't count. The hoarfrost on the ground below her had melted from the hot juices dribbling down her thighs. Her ass burned from his rough penetration. The little cuts and scrapes along her breasts, stomach, and thighs burned.

But she felt more alive than ever. She panted softly and she let her tail wag back and forth. With a regretful smile, she pulled herself into a begging position and waited.

Eolis picked up his shirt and began to dress. “How do you feel?”

Merrie cocked her head, trying to pick through the storm of emotions inside her. She was brimming with excitement and lust. The orgasms still burning inside her, filling her with the sweet rush of submission and pleasure.

But, even with all the pleasure, the burning hole in her heart was still there. It bore down on her, a weight she could never escape. But, the sharp edges had faded just a little. She could almost bear thinking about him, even though the emptiness faded the pleasure.

Eolis sighed. “That's what I thought.” He finished buttoning up his suit pants. He straightened his jacket with a snap. “It still hurts, doesn't it? That pain in you?”

Merrie whimpered and let her ear droop.

“I was afraid of that.” He crouched in front of her and held out his hand.

She rested her cheek in his warm palm.

“Good girl,” he whispered and she trembled. “I wish I could do more, but I have no authority here without the count. And… and my duties won't let me bring you along. But, I…” he started to say something.

She tensed as she felt he was going to suggest she go back to the mill.

Eolis clamped his mouth shut and swallowed before he continued, “I need to do a few things and I have to work around my obligations. Do you think you can survive here, in Franome City? Until summer?”

Merrie let out a soft gasp of relief. For a moment, she was worried he was going to drag her back to Bass. She barked and wagged her tail.

“Good girl,” he said sadly. He dug into his pocket and pulled out something but he kept it hidden his palm. He returned to Merrie and knelt down in front of her.

She looked up at him, her breath catching in her throat.

“Until then, I have an order for you. Do you think you can obey?”

Her heartbeat quickened.

“You are not to go two days without getting fucked. I don't care if you pay for it or join the Whore's Guild, but you—” he wrapped his hand around her neck. The touch was light but the threat clear.

She grew hotter as she stared at him.

“—you will get your mouth, ass, or cunt fucked every other day, do you understand? You are a bitch and don't you dare ever get this weak again. That darkness? That is you breaking my command and I will punish you for that.”

Her tail wagged back and forth. She quivered under his touch, waiting for him to clamp down or to push her back.

But, Eolis's voice lowered into a growl. “I will take you to back the mill. No questions, no begging. I will send you back if you don't get fucked ever other day.”

She whimpered.

“Do you understand? Every other day.”

Merrie barked softly, trembling with fear and anticipation.

“And do you know the message boards at mid-town?” He mentioned a square in the center of town. It was filled with large platforms that people posted messages to each other.

At her nod, he stroked her cheek with his thumb. “I come back twice a year, on the first of winter and first of summer. I'll post a message on the lower right of the obsidian board. I will leave it to… The Lost Alpha.” His eyes glistened in the dim light. “Just… obey, okay? Obey until I can get some help.”

Merrie whimpered and barked softly, her voice barely audible.

Eolis stood up slowly. He glanced down and she saw pain and frustration in his eyes, a sadness that was a mirror of her own. Something was tearing him in half but she didn't know what. “Be safe, girl. I'll be back, but I cannot stay.”

Merrie barked again and then watched as he walked away. She started forward, but paper crinkled underneath her leg. Looking down, she saw that Eolis had somehow left some money underneath her wrist. Pulling back, she stared in shock. It was over five hundred marks and she knew it was every bit of money he had in his pocket.